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| source// DC Comics |
After years of hype, Batman and Superman are finally meeting on the big screen for the very first time in perhaps the most highly anticipated comic book movie ever made. Regardless of how good or bad the Zack Snyder helmed release ends up being, seeing them meet (and fight) will be an iconic moment in film history, even if it is one fans of the comic books are now more than used to.
After all, The World’s Finest heroes have teamed up and fought each other on almost countless occasions, and while some of their battles have been more memorable than others, there are many which are a lot more obscure. In fact, they may just be better off forgotten simply because of how downright embarrassing they are.
Not every encounter these two icons have had can be up there with The Dark Knight Returns, and as entertaining as those listed here may have been, they’re also among the most humiliating moments in the respective histories of each character. Whether it’s the circumstances which led to the fights, the way they played out, or how things ended, these all left Batman and Superman red faced…
8. Batman/Superman
This is a weird one because it featured Batman and Superman not technically fighting each other, but still teaming up to take on themselves in the form of a “Composite Superman” who is quite literally half Man of Steel and half Caped Crusader. Originally introduced as something of a comedy character in the 1960s, things took a dark turn when the villain recently returned to do battle with the two heroes he was created to imitate.
You see, Batman figured out that the best way to defeat this science experiment gone wrong would be to get him to…rip himself in half?! That’s right, the Dark Knight decided to talk “Composite Superman” into committing suicide to end the pain of having two such distinct personalities. The comic tried to throw in some mumbo jumbo about this showing how different these friends are, but the whole thing was just weird.
7. Smart Batman Versus Dumb Superman
Batman frequently uses Kryptonite to put himself on an equal footing with Superman from a physical standpoint, but he once tried to even the odds by using a device to make himself super intelligent and the Man of Steel really, really dumb. In fact, Superman was pretty much taken back to his “Caveman Days” while Batman used his new noggin to travel into a future with similarly smart egghead types for him to hang out with.
There were a lot of weird time travel antics in this one, but it all wrapped up with them both being returned to normal and not really acknowledging the fact that Batman had just made his best friend mentally impaired (they also failed to address why exactly being made super dumb caused the Kryptonian hero to suddenly grow a beard). Of all the fallings out these two have had, this quarrel was easily one of their most bizarre.
6. Medieval Bandits
You know, it’s no wonder the DC Universe is constantly being rebooted with these two idiots constantly travelling through time and causing chaos. After Batman and Robin were lost in 1497, Superman tried to track them down, but things too a bizarre turn when they ended up knocking the Man of Steel out with Kryptonite and taking him to their band of thieves. However, it turns out that they weren’t even Batman and Robin.
Instead, a couple of random crooks actually beat those two in the present day, travelled back in time in their place, and then took out Superman. TWO RANDOM CROOKS! This was embarrassing for both heroes, and while the Dynamic Duo ultimately managed to save the day by beating the imposters and wiping their memories (well, that part was actually an accident), this clash of sorts made everyone look like complete fools.
5. Superman’s Secret Kingdom
So many of Batman and Superman’s team-ups have concluded with them fighting each other that it’s honestly quite shocking that they even answer each other’s calls these days. When the Man of Steel went missing on a mission to track down a crook who went on the run to South America, Batman and Robin came across the hero in charge of a primitive Incan tribe after a swooping too close to a volcano left him with amnesia.
For some reason, that crook had become Superman’s top advisor and he of course talked his “king” into having the two Gotham City heroes killed. Once again unable to overpower their friend, the Dynamic Duo ran away, painted a picture of Clark Kent, and used that to restore his memory. Really. This nonsensical showdown could have played out in a number of ways, but a memory restoring paining was the best they could do.
4. Poison Ivy
While Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee’s “Hush” looked amazing and gave many members of Batman’s rogues gallery a much needed makeover, it’s also a little overrated and features some very poor storytelling decisions in places. Among them was the obligatory fight between Batman and Superman, one which was caused by Poison Ivy using Kryptonite laced lipstick to take control of the Man of Steel and pit him against the Dark Knight.
The fact that Superman was foolish enough to fall under Ivy’s spell is bad enough, but the way Batman decided to wrap this battle up was even worse. Recruiting Catwoman to kidnap Lois Lane, she threw the reporter off a skyscraper in order to get the hero to snap out of his trance. Other than the appearance of a Kryptonite ring, there was little to like about this one, especially as Superman came across as such a massive chump.
3. A Battle For The Blankets
In a story which took place before Batman and Superman knew each other’s secret identities, Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne found themselves forced to share a room (and bed) aboard an overbooked cruise liner. Forgetting for a minute that a billionaire being forced to shack up with a lowly reporter is highly unlikely, this “battle” revolving around who was the biggest blanket hog ended up being a low point for them both.
Ultimately, it was probably Batman who won this one due to the fact that he had the lion’s share of the covers, but the look they’re giving each other says it all. While Bruce is no doubt wondering why the hell Clark is lying in bed with his glasses on, each of them has a real look of disdain for the other, and it’s a shame this scenario didn’t end in fisticuffs (and that they didn’t think to ask room service for an extra blanket).
2. Witch Hunt
As you can now tell, Batman and Superman had a lot of wacky adventures way back when. That included a trip back in time to the 18th Century, and despite the fact that the Revolutionary War era has never been known for its witch hunts, these two still somehow found themselves wrapped up in all that when the Caped Crusader was possessed by an evil entity which the Man of Steel could only think of one way to deal with.
That led to him framing Batman for witchcraft and later using his heat vision (which, uh, must have looked like witchcraft to the townspeople, right?) to burn him at the stake. However, his ploy to scare out that demon backfired when it instead took control of him, but the Dark Knight had a much simpler way of dealing with that; he hit Superman on the head with a Kryponite pebble.
So, yeah, this clash was definitely far from epic.
1. Batman Hulks Out
Finding new ways to pit Batman against Superman is never easy, but transforming the former into a Hulk like brute is arguably the lamest yet. When the Dark Knight was infected by a unique strand of the Scarecrow’s fear toxin, he became a ‘roided up version of his normal self and proceeded to beat the crap out of the Man of Steel in a sequence which felt like it only existed for a scene of these two fighting to be on the cover.
Superman defeated his friend by basically beating the toxin out of his system, and that was a disappointing way to wrap up a fight which didn’t make all that much sense in the first place. However, the worst thing about this one was what a missed opportunity it was; seeing a super-powered Batman taking on Superman should have had epic results, but this whole thing ended up being a silly fight which did neither hero any favours.
Which other ludicrous and terrible Batman V Superman dust ups belong on this list? Share your favourites below in the comments thread.
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